Day 116: I Wish You Could Be There

2026-06-02

Hello! This is written like an open letter, because why not. I put a half-hearted effort into it a few weeks ago after thinking of the vlogbrothers YouTube channel, and I think it would continue to provide me some fun creative challenges.

Should probably invent a character — the one specific person that this format is written for. Let's call them M, partly because the James Bond character so iconic that I still think about him, even though I have never enjoyed a Bond book or film.

Where do I start? The New Jersey Renaissance Faire, which I mentioned yesterday, was great. Just plain great. I only wish that I was with you rather than the group I was stuck with.

It's this themed fairgrounds where everyone is dressed and acting all medieval-like — they have a Shakespeare and his plays, and a ruling lineage of royals — and I think I'd like to group it into three different parts: the things you buy, the things you eat, and the things you see. I'm deliberately excluding the vague idea of "experience" because every part was an experience.

And I mean it. The vibe of the fairgrounds hit you even before you arrived. Some man, dressed in commoner attire, boarded our bus and announced the typical things: don't be rowdy, don't smoke, don't drink, don't be stupid, have fun.

And the kids I was with followed two of those rules. They were aggressive to a high degree — I'm genuinely surprised security didn't step in when they almost got in a fight with a five year-old. And by lunch break, they were groaning to each other: "I wanna go home, bro," and "I know, bro, I don't wanna be here..."

They were all boys.

I'm sure I'm generalizing a bit here. Some people were generally great and kept up with the experience, but it only takes one bad apple to spoil the barrel. But again, each district (shopping, food, and special events) were their own experience.

The food district, composed of many lanes of tents and booths (most accepting cash, some with "magic boxes" that would take your credit card) sold the usual theme park grub. There were some popular booths that I saw many people buy from, but they were all overpriced and I ate packed lunch. Still, I enjoyed watching other people marvel at the size of turkey legs, attempt to eat a footlong pickle whole, and breathe like dragons after consuming a free sample of smoking ice cream. That last one is a picture that they deemed blackmail-worthy; I'll send it to you any night I get the chance, it's great.

The shopping district was even larger, of independent local businesses selling their themed items. Most were above my budget, but I bought a small souvenir in the form of a pocketbook, made with real silk and obviously handmade. No one else from our group bought any souvenirs or gifts.

There were also game booths, where you could throw axes and launch paintballs from a slingshot. I have awful aim, but I make up for it in spirit elsewhere.

Finally, the special events. From plays and dramatized reenactments to a staged horse jousting event, I tried to see as many as I could. Huge crowds were rounded up and directed to these events, and it was great. A bit anticlimactic at some points, possibly because there were less people that day than usual and therefore lower energy.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. I dressed up in costume. I don't know exactly who I was supposed to be, so I kinda made a character backstory on the fly. When one of the staff actors came up to me on the main street, I told him I was the crazy alchemist next door selling alcohol and other deadly potions. Another staff actor claimed to connect me with the Prince of Norway the next day. They're awesome, but I was sweating balls. The boots I was wearing also didn't help, as they were awful for walking long distances for long periods of time.

I had neglected to put on sunscreen so my nose is red.

The photo itself was taken as I was walking around early in the day. I'm not sure if this was the horseshoe station, but it was at least next to it and I'm reminded of it when looking back at this photo. There was a station that let you put your own name on a horseshoe, as you watched a blacksmith stamp your name on a sheet of metal. I'm not sure if putting your name on that would be a good and unique gift or a vaguely patronizing item that you would have no use for.

The only little facts I know about blacksmithing come from this video by Tom Scott trying blacksmithing with Alec Steele.

Anyway, all the highlights from the events could be magnified if I brought you and a few of our friends along. It might be possible to go back again and let you all experience it for the first time, but now that I've spoiled the event for you, it might not be worth the effort. Also you've probably heard about it a lot.

I also think that we ought to go to kooky places like that if only for you to provide me some fashion advice. Come on, I would absolutely pay overblown prices for a set of medieval artisan pajamas.

Cheers,
David